With new lenses, new ideas and images. Still waiting for the hans...

last weekend my new 50mm f1.4 arrived - absolutely amazing lens.

after some weeks of pain,sleepless nights and the loss of about 20 kg's I think I'm back - back in the right dimension and back on my feet. Some nice proverbs tell something about "some things should better be unknown" and "the truth can hurt"... right but sometimes it's very necessary to free the own soul even if it can hurt much more than the last weeks!

I did it! And strangely I enjoyed it!

But now the main order is "look forward" - work's for over 90% good, the rest are some minutes of the day where the past wins.
I'd like to thank some of my best friends who guarded me, who prepared me and finally who affirmed me. You know who you are, the dragon has just openend the eyes

There are much things to do in the next days - the weather is getting better, the snow disappeared and the lenses are combatready. But the most important thing is that the mind hast started redefining itself ... slowly but unstoppable and described with a very good friend words "stronger than ever" - it's one thing to loose the faith but it's annother thing to find and(!!!) push the own resetbutton

some days ago someone said to me that fotography is a powerfull valve - for all kind of emotions, the creativity of mind and the soul, finally. I felt this for some years,really!
Today I tried to unlock this valve, tried to let me guide only by instinct and the feeling behind the camera. But when even some stones forces me to mention of gone days, soulburned sunrays and simply energyfullfilled moments there must be a failure in theory.
Maybe only in my theory but by default a failure - the developer whispers something like "debug it, anyhow - start now". The other part says nothing, looks around, like waiting for something.
For most every shit there are buttons, pills or some hotlines or other absurd inventions to enunciate it - from soft methods up to brute solutions, well scaled and painted. A fat hymn of praise on mankind!
Some doors better should be unlocked and forgotten - there might be dragons behind!

with nice 39.1 deg's in my head I'll have to make myself a nice day with f***ing talkshows and a lot of tea... argh! Hope I find my Captain Future-DVD'S...

heute mal ein paar deutsche Worte - dafür ungefiltert und ein wenig direkt:

dieses beknackte Wetter hängt mir extrem zum Hals raus dass ich ernsthaft überlege ob ich zu den "Wetterdepries" gehöre.
Joggen gehen? Keine Chance, zu rutschig und fast lebensgefährlich!
Mountainbikefahren? Gleich hinter joggen, nur noch ein wenig lebensgefährlicher!
Weitwinkeljagd in der Natur? Kein Kommentar!
Nach Fehmarn zum Pommesessen ballern und dabei gute Musik hören? Auch kein besonders guter Plan irgendwie!

Bleibt eigentlich nur so'n Mist über wie Algorithmenoptimierung, Datenbankdesign und Coden...argh! Und natürlich alte Bilder bearbeiten!!!
Einziger Trost ist der morgen anstehende erste scharfe Einsatz im Bereich der Portraitfotografie - mit so wirklich allem was dazugehört: 4 Speedlites, Reflektoren, allen möglichen (Funk-|Fern-|IR-)Auslösern,Hintergründen und ner Menge wirklich cooler Leute - und Kaffee

Schöne Scheisse, ich sitze auf Klembrettern voller Ideen und hätte auch absolut keine Hemmungen an meinen Jahresurlaub ranzugehen um nur mal einen Tag mit 12mm die Sau raus zu lassen ......
aber momentan sitze ich wie so'n F-16-Pilot in seinem Falcon und kriege andauernd ein "grounding" ... sehr,sehr frustrierend!
Also ist ruhig bleiben angesagt, Ideen ausarbeiten und dem beknackten Schnee beim Tauen zugucken....

I'm listening to the brand new album of "in strict confidence" and cross-read the manuals of Canon's Speedlite 580 EX II and 430 EX II.... master-slave mode isn't so easy I thought.
Tomorrow my hot shoe arrives ... I hope

yesterday my new spyder3 found it's way to my monitors - I'm very impressed by the results.
As a typicall "software-developer" I didn't care anything about the monitorsettings but that's over now.

who ist guilty
who ist not
coult it be me
or could it be god
who can change things
could it be me
I'm just a small part
of this society

"corps d'amour", Project Pitchfork

today's the first workshop I'll join at my fotoclub - very nervous! After that I'll upgrade my membership here. Outside the snow covers everything again, it's time for spring - otherwise I'll have to escape to the canary islands...